First Day as a Superhero
From that day on, I became a superhero.
Is it true you have superpowers?
Yeah. I can tell a lady's hip size from a glance.
What? You can tell even without touching?
I actually want you to touch, y'know.
Get me drunk and take me to a penthouse suite with
a bed covered in rose petals.
Turn off the lights, push me against the wall and floor, and kiss me.
Put on some sexy, wild mambo music...
Your hip size is...
It's 98cm, and I'm a B-cup!
Revealing it yourself?
I've always loved superheroes, ever since I was a child.
I hoped that one day, my very own hero would show up.
A superhero?
You're hot, and you can see all the way through to my butthole.
I'm sure you're my superhero.
I'm your superhero, and yours alone—
Superhero, my ass!
Come to your senses, 98cm ass.
This scumbag is no superhero.
He can only tell what your hip size 'cause
he's a toilet designer who makes a living
off other people's asses!
Old Man's Only Daughter Min-chan (16)
Occupation: High School Girl (Black Belt in Karate) Ideal Man: A mellow, gentle guy Personality: Straightforward and Unyielding Three Sizes: Don't ask, moron!
Toilet designer?
My ladies, for whom do your splendid derrières exist?
For me, of course.
Protagonist (Apparently) Old Man (38)
Occupation: First-rate Toilet Seat Designer Ideal Woman: Hot, Rich, Young (Mature Women also OK) Personality: Slob, Overconfident, Narcissist
Who is the Cinderella who left this toilet seat behind?
Me!
You scumbag father!
Me!
Don't bring our toilet seat to hit on women,
you rotten, perverted, toilet seat of an old man!
Rotten, Perverted, Toilet Seat of an Old Man
Mom left home 'cause you're always wallowing in booze and women!
That's right.
I'm a man who can't survive without booze, babes, and toilet seats.
Still, rather than a hundred toilet seats,
rather than a thousand women,
the only one I really want to love me is you, Min-chan.
That's what so awe-inspiring about him!
Zip it, you sluts!
How do you always find me when I'm on out on a date?
Why do you always hit on women at the same restaurant?
Point.
Why are you taking off your pants here?!
But they're soaked with that puppy's drool.
That doesn't mean you can strip in front of your daughter,
you stupid old man.
I'll go strip outdoors, then.
I'm taking a shower.
Sheesh. So shy.
Oh?
Next-Door Neighbor Yamada-san (?)
Occupation: It is a mystery. Ideal woman: It is a total mystery. Personality: You guessed it. It is a mystery. Hobby: Going Commando
A late-night stroll, toilet boss? I see we have similar hobbies.
But, if I can say one thing, your outfit is too revealing.
Your coat's so short, your commando will be visible from Orlando.
Commando
Visible from Orlando
If the police find you, you'll be arrested on the spot.
You should change into a longer coat.
Then you can form a team with me, and flash all the women—
Who were you having a trashy conversation with outside?
Hey, wait up!
I need to go first. I can't hold back.
Crap, crap! It'll fall out!
It's hanging by a thread!
Wait, you're taking a dump?!
You're asking a girl to shower in the bathroom her father took a dump in?!
Don't worry. I won't shit in the shower.
You piece of shit old man! Fall into the pot and die!
Min-chan's precocious, but she's still a child.
"Fall into the pot"? What is she, eight?
Like anyone would fall into the pot in a trendy anime like this—
Where am I?
Did I push so hard, I got sucked into the sewers?
You're the only human on Earth who's taking a dump at this moment!
As such, you'll have the good fortune of joining us
and being tasked with the mission of protecting Earth!
Uh, I don't wanna protect Earth's peace.
I just wanna take a dump.
And who the heck are you, anyway?
We're a registered private limited company,
called...
Space Peace Republic Alliance Hero Committee
the Space Peace Republic Alliance Hero Committee...
The question is, did I take a dump and fall into the sewer,
or did I fall into the sewer and then—
I'm not in the sewer business!
Damn, talk about a painful dream.
This is no dream!
Believe it or not,
your body is already transforming into hero mode
and is capable of wielding superpowers for some reason!
The enemy will attack from outer space as early as tomorrow!
Use your superpowers to protect Earth's peace!
Wait, what do you mean, "hero"?
Does it come with social insurance? What's the pay like?
Do I get to expense my visits to the strip club!?
Hey, are you done yet?
How long are you gonna take?
Just how much are you gonna crap out? Hurry up!
O-Oh... Yeah, yeah.
I'll be out in a sec.
I saw a weird dream while taking a dump.
As if hero modes and superpowers could ever exist.
And my appearance wouldn't change...
This isn't me!
What happened to me?
My face changed?!
My body changed?!
My voice changed!
Is this the transformation he mentioned?
But I don't look like a superhero at all!
Get out right now, or I'll kick the door in.
Wait!
What should I do?
If Min-chan sees me like this...
I just took a dump, but I feel like I'm in even deeper shit now!
Uh, Min-chan, I'll be showing you something that must not be seen...
She's asleep? Lucky me.
I'll use this time to come up with a decent explanation.
Lalala! We are aliens!
We'll be landing on Earth next, Boss.
Have you assembled an advance party?
Of course.
Emperor Black Hoihoi of the advance party is the lord
of the race most suited to wipe out humanity.
That sounds good.
Tomorrow morning, throw humanity into the depths of fear and despair.
Now, think, think! How should I explain this?
How can I convince her?
I have nothing in common with what I used to look like.
I love you, Daddy!
You like it? Give Daddy a kiss.
Oh, this birthday present is Min-chan's favorite.
As long as I have this...
Min-chan, Min-chan.
You love me, right? Kiss me.
How about a punch to the kisser?
Hey, porky. What are you, a pig?
How'd you get in here?
Stop! Don't kill me!
There's a reason to this!
I'll hear you out.
Spit it out, you dirty, perverted lecher who snuck into a girl's room!
I'm not a pervert! I'm your father!
I am a pervert! There's no doubt about it!
Turning defiant, huh, you pig?
I'm really your father!
I really wanna lick you!
You were born when I was 22!
You look just like my favorite wank material from when I was 22!
Your hip size is 88cm!
Pervert Juujigatame!
Why did only the hip size line match?
Totsushindou!
Totsushindou
Never exist in front of me again!
That's weird.
I got hit, but it doesn't hurt at all.
Did I really become a superhero?
If so, what exactly are my superpowers?
Guess I should first think about what to do from now on.
Help!
I'll be assaulted!
No!
I'll be defiled!
Black, Black Hoihoihoi!
No. 1 Emperor Black Hoihoi!
I'm gonna massacre all you humans—
Oh, thank you!
You saved me!
Hi, my bitches.
You remember last night's dear derriere date?
Asses, haa, haa...
Would you like to join me on a toilet seat shopping date right now?
Crap, it's starting to rain.
You're right. Better go home and close the shutters.
I need to take in the futon.
If I take a dump now, I might never go back to normal.
You're pretty strong, superhero!
Would you like to join us?
Scrape
You've seen me in my birthday suit.
Now you'll have to marry me and—
I refuse!
You're a superhero, aren't you?
Destroying Earth will have to wait until after we take out the superhero!
No. 2 - Iron Shrimp Man!
Shrimp!
It doesn't hurt at all.
Shrimp.
Though it is a bit ticklish.
I took out two enemies first thing in the morning.
If I hadn't, Earth might've been destroyed.
All right, I've made up my mind!
From today, I'm gonna be a superhero—
Shut up!
Damn you, oinking in front of my house so early!
I told you never to exist in front of me again yesterday!
Oh, right. I have another reason to become a superhero.
Starting that day, I became a superhero.
I became a superhero.
What a failure!
You said Earth didn't have a superhero!
Did you investigate properly beforehand?!
Please calm down, Prince.
Blood Mince Machine, AKA Beast King Uroborops-sama.
I'll go next.
Superhero or not, I need a place to live.
As much as I hate it, I have no other choice.
Yes? Who is it?
Where'd you come from, pig?
C-Can we start off as friends?